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Ask Miss Wild

Our resident romance expert answers your questions


Ask Miss Wild
Our resident relationship expert answers your toughest romantic questions

Q: I’ve been in a relationship for the past two years. Its my first ever relationship. My guy loves me like hell and hasn’t given me a single reason to complain. He says he wants to marry me. I love him, but at times I dream of escaping the confines of being in a couple and I sometimes want to sample the singles’ scene. At other times, I want nothing but to settle down and have his kids. It’s so confusing and I can’t decide. I’ve hurt him many times by demanding a trial separation and he’s always given in without protest. He says he’ll wait for me forever. This chaotic state of my relationship is killing me. What should I do?

A: There’s no point leaving him just to be single. Dating is fun, but the reason people date is because they’re hoping to find someone they can love who also loves them. Then again, you should never feel like you’re missing out on anything in a relationship. This guy’s a sweetheart. He really wants you to be happy. There’s nothing rushing you to get married, and if you make a decision hastily (no matter what it is), you’re likely to regret it later. So maybe keep things as they are for a bit longer and see how your feelings about singledom evolve. (P.S. Ask your single friends how much they love not knowing if a guy’s going to call…)

Q: Recently, I engaged in a sexual relationship with my good friend of six years. We were both lonely for company and now it has been going on for five months. He asked me if we should be going out, but after careful consideration, we decided to remain friends who have casual sex. But now I want more than just being friends and having casual sex. I entertained the idea with him but he said he’s not ready for a girlfriend right now but things might change in the future. Should I wait to see if he will change his mind? Or should I just put an axe to this madness and move on?

A: First, you have to stop having sex with him. It kills friendships, no matter how much you’ve talked about it. Sure, you can wait to see if his mind changes. (It sounds like it could—from what you’ve described, he’s been back and forth before.) But do you really want to sit around waiting for him to decide your future? Date around and see where that leads you.

 

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