Tonight’s the night that all of Bachelor Nation has been waiting for. It’s fantasy suites week, and you know what that means: it’s time for our virgin Bachelor to jump the fence! (And no, that is not some kind of metaphor.)
Since September 2018, when The Bachelor started promoting this season, we’ve seen clips of the moment when Colton Underwood—pushed to his *absolute* limit—storms out of what appears to be a fantasy suite, mumbling “F-ck all of this, I’m done.” That drama is pretty on par for Bachelor Nation, but Colton takes it one step—or rather, leap—further. After storming down the driveway with Chris Harrison following behind him, Colton literally hurdles over a giant fence. Like, truly he treats what appears to be a 10-foot wall like it’s a baby gate.
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) March 3, 2019
Which, I mean.
Thanks to incessant teasers, we’ve know for months that Colton would be heading over that fence, but one big question remains: Why? Ahead of tonight’s episode—which, of course, promises to be v. dramatic—here are our theories:
The ladies (or one in particular) don’t return his love
Since the beginning of his Bachelor journey, Colton made it pretty clear that one of his biggest fears is that one (or several) of the women won’t reciprocate his feelings. “Just because I have the title of the Bachelor doesn’t mean I’m invincible to having my heart broken. Going through this has taught me that we aren’t invincible, and it’s sort of been a humbling experience for me—all the way through my time on The Bachelorette, through Paradise, thinking I have things figuring out, thinking I know what I want out of life,” Colton told Us Weekly.
Maybe that quote was Colton foreshadowing that concerns about heartbreak ended up coming true. This theory seems like a strong contender since the promo for tonight’s episode also features a sniffling Colton saying: “Every time I put myself out there, I get f-cking rejected. I have sacrificed and given up everything to have my heart broken. I don’t know what the future holds for me.”
The heart wants what it wants. And maybe, for one of the ladies, it’s not Colton.
Tia makes a surprise appearance
TBH this theory would make the most sense, because—would we put it past her? Tia Booth has been known to be a bit shady (#Justice4BekahM) *and* has a history of popping up unexpectedly and throwing a wrench in people’s relationships. Tia competed on Arie Luyendyk Jr.’s season of The Bachelor and had a brief fling with Colton before he competed on Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette. She then made a surprise appearance on Becca’s season, joining one of the Bachelorette’s group dates and scaring the bejeebus out of Colton. Later in that same episode, Tia told Becca that she still had feelings for the former NFL player. Colton was kicked off the show that week.
After he was booted off Becca’s season, Colton headed straight to Bachelor in Paradise, only to be surprised once again when Tia popped in to wife him up. The pair inevitably broke up before the end of Paradise.
And NO I will NOT be a contestant on Colton’s season. Lord bless.
— Tia Booth🖤 (@tiarachel91) September 4, 2018
Tia is *currently* in a relationship, and while she cleared the air back in September, congratulating Colton on his Bach status and declaring that she wouldn’t be a contestant on his season, who’s to say she didn’t just pop in as a surprise guest/sh-t disturber.
Tia to Colton:
Chris Harrison told Colton he *won’t* be competing on Dancing with the Stars
— Chris Harrison (@chrisbharrison) March 3, 2019
If it isn’t Flat Tummy Tea, it’s gotta be Dancing With The Stars. From Chris Soules to Jake Pavelka and Sean Lowe, a number of Bachelor Nation’s leading men have made a bid for DWTS‘s coveted trophy. It almost seems natural that Colton would be next, right? Wrong.
Besides DWTS skipping a Spring 2019 cycle (after a controversial Season 27), maybe, the competition show’s producers knew the last thing America needs to see rn is Colton in sparkly chaps. Or maybe, Colton has two left feet and no rhythm. Either way, we’re guessing it would be Chris—the Bachelor Nation’s forever father figure—who’d have to break the news. No wonder Colton was running away from Chris, he’d just had his dreams crushed.
O-Town called, and they’re going on tour
Colton is ready to pull his own Ally, because a star has been born, baby! Recently, the Bachelor hunk revealed his singing chops, releasing a pop single alongside early ‘aughts band O-Town. “Hello World,” which dropped in February, isn’t just a bop, but a bop with a cause, with proceeds from the collaboration going toward Colton’s cystic fibrosis charity.
TBH, this was a missed opportunity for a remix of Des and Soulja Boy’s 2013 hit “Right Reasons,” but OK.
After having a small taste of fame, we wouldn’t fault Colton for taking a very important call mid-fantasy suite and, hearing that O-Town needs another lead vocalist, making a dramatic exit to pursue music stardom.
He was obvi training for (*SPOILER ALERT*) his impending gym date with Gregg Sulkin
If Gregg Sulkin, a British actor on Runaways, doesn’t set off alarm bells, the name of his GF will. Michelle Randolph. Yep, as in the lookalike sister to Bachelor front-runner Cassie Randolph.
Just this past weekend, Colton was seen hamming it up with Gregg while leaving a California gym. While this could just be a case of two buddies pumping iron together, it feels *a little* weird that they’d be hanging out if Colton had dumped Cassie—the pair’s only connection.
What seems more likely? That Colton and Cassie are an item, and our current Bachelor is out for a sweat sesh with fellow Randolph boyfriend, Gregg.
Which brings us back to that fence. Perhaps, after a romantic AF night with Cassie, in which he decided she was the one, Colton got overwhelmed by his feelings, as well as a need to prep for gym hangs with his future boyfriend-in-law. Hence: crying, swearing and ultimately over the fence he goes.
We’re real excited to see which, if any, of these theories is true—but also stoked for Colton to *finally* hop this fence and move on with the season.