For those of you still watching this season—serious question: I am alone in this or are you guys still there?— welcome to the Women Tell All ft. Shanti “I hang with A-list celebs” Singh and our girl Meghan!
First up in the hot seat: Shanti.
Actual footage of Shanti every day of her life:
OK honestly, every single second that went by while Shanti sat next to Noah (P.S. love you, Noah) was one more second we wanted to put our heads through a damn wall. Is it possible to eye-roll nonstop for five minutes? Because I think I accomplished that.
Me listening to Shanti talk:
Also me listening to Shanti talk:
Right off the bat, Noah asks her how she feels about being branded with the “villain” title. Her response? “I don’t mind it.”
Shanti *whilst the other girls also non-stop eye-roll*: If you want to throw a label on me that’s your decision. I don’t have to carry it, and I don’t have to fight it either.
We then re-watch Shanti’s “brief, but oh so dramatic journey”—as Noah calls is—and when he asks her how she feels watching her embarrassing-ass behaviour back, SHE LAUGHS AND SAYS IT’S FUNNY.
Shanti then starts telling Noah that all the girls insulted her on the show, to witch Lisa (the mermaid/squirrel lover) appropriately responds with “You were the one insulting us!!”
Everyone applauds Lisa’s v. true statement and then she starts ripping Shanti a literal new one:
Lisa to Shanti: You literally need help, that’s it
Shanti: Yeah, keep your script up I don’t really care what you have to say
Us: ALL. THE. EYE-ROLLS.
Brittany W.—who said like, no words during the season—decides to pipe in and confront Shanti:
Brittany W.: You say you don’t like to label people but you’re pretty much the only person who labels everybody
Shanti: *stares blankly*
Brittany W.: You called Meghan a parasite…you have no remorse. Like you see yourself and you’re OK with that?
Shanti then proceeds to say that reality TV is a “dramatization of real life” to which all the girls, hilariously at the same time, yell: “THAT WAS YOU THOUGH”
Shanti continues to label people—“they’re a pack of girly girls,” for example—and then Brittany W. reeeally goes off. SRSLY who is this girl because we love her.
Us every time Brittany W. talks:
Brittany W. goes on to explain that Shanti—the girl who’s claiming she’s *not* a bully (L O L)—called her a “big girl” and said she was the “biggest girl on the show.” Literally so done hearing about Shanti. Bye.
Noah then brings up the whole Shanti telling Chris that Dee has a kid thing (*so* messed up) and she LITERALLY says she does not feel remorse or regret. There are no words.
Giving her the last word, Noah opens up the floor to Shanti but surprise surprise, she says she has nothing left to say. So, BYEEE SHANTI.
Moving on to Meghan—a.k.a. a breath of fresh air if there ever was one—Noah invites her to the stage next and she is the. cutest. human. ever. She wasn’t in the hot seat for long and there’s nothing super interesting to report, but she gave us the sweet charm she carried all season long and we LOVE HER.
Next up in the hot seat: Brittany M.! She was in the hot seat for I want to say like, two seconds and considering she was this season’s second villain, the girls were not that hard on her. Honestly, it was preeetty boring and again—nothing to report.
Moving on to Catie’s turn in the hot seat—with Chris! Noah invites them both to the stage and, as per usual, Catie starts talking non-friggin’-stop (I’m not even sure if she’s stopping for breaths).
Pretty much Catie 24/7:
She continues to blab on and on—telling Chris that, watching the season back, she noticed she was doing a lot of talking and not a lot of listening. To which Noah responds (reading our literal minds): “You know you’re doing it again right?” Poor girl.
Chris ends up giving Catie zero closure—as he does—and tells her that his relationships were just stronger with other people. Even though he knows—and WE know—that it was just her personality. Like, man up Chris.
Later, Chris stays in the hot seat and faces the rest of his ex-girlfriends. And, honestly, the only notable part here is when Meghan asks him why he didn’t keep her around. To which he responds with the EXACT SAME THING he told Catie.
And on that note, that’s a wrap for the Women Tell All! See you next week for the finale, AND see you in two weeks for Arie Luyendyk Jr.’s Bachelor premiere!!!!
Watch The Bachelor Canada Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. EST on W Network. Then, head on over to FLARE.com/themorningafter for Sharleen Joynt’s always on-point recaps and more!