Welcome to The Bachelor Canada finale! We start this actually v. v. dramatic episode off with Chris, once again, strolling on the beach sans shirt, and us, once again, trying not to vom over that damn torso tat. Hopefully this is the last time we have to see it, ever.
Lyndsey gets the first date of the episode, which starts of super cute. They go for a romantic bike ride together and then cuddle on the beach, where Lyndsey sings Chris a song she wrote for him on the ukulele. And she is SO FREAKING GOOD. Like, Lyndsey can you pls teach me how to sing and play the “uke”? ‘K, thx.
Then, literally three seconds after Lyndsey sings him the *most* romantic song ever, Chris goes “Remember when I said I’d move to Vancouver? Yaaa…I don’t really wanna do that anymore.” WHAT THE LITERAL HELL, CHRIS?
And with that, things get suupes awks (which like, duh) and the date is offish ruined. Nice job, Chris.
Next up is Mikaela’s date and unfortch, Chris manages to eff this one up even worse than the last.
Mikaela goes into the date v. confused and concerned about how strong Chris’s connection with Lyndsey might be. Which like, fair.
Mikaela to Chris: After meeting your parents I realized a couple things—you just woke up that day with Lyndsey, and then came and met me and we went to meet your parents.
Us: Reasonable concern.
Mikaela: And then I also realized that we spent the morning together and you were doing the same thing with someone else.
Chris gives Mikaela some reassurance and a cute little speech about never being happier than when he woke up next to her after the fantasy suite.
Doing a complete 180, Mikaela is now happy again and asks Chris what his parents thought of her. And that’s when IT HAPPENS. Chris says—and I cannot make this shit up, people—“My mom said **LYNDSEY’S** one of the loveliest women she’s ever met.” Yep, Chris actually called Mikaela “Lyndsey” and I had to use both hands to lift my jaw off the freaking floor after watching it. Has this ever happened before? I need to know.
Oh, I should mention that his garbage response to this maj screw up was: “I just f-cked up.” Shake my damn head.
Naturally, Mikaela is *so* pissed—let’s not forget she had just finished voicing her concerns about Lyndsey still being in the picture—so she gets up and leaves. And just like that, Chris ruins another date. *Insert every single freaking eye-roll emoji here*
After leaving both dates off in very questionable places, Chris meets up with Michael Hill to pick out an engagement ring and claims he knows exactly who he’s going to propose to.
Fast forward to the Final Rose Ceremony (we’re almost there you guys, just hang in there a little longer) and the person to get out of the first limo—a.k.a. the loser limo—is… Lyndsey! Was *not* expecting that, TBH.
She starts walking towards Chris and all I can think is, OMG, imagine if he messes up their names here.
Lyndsey finally reaches Chris and starts her speech:
Lyndsey to Chris: This journey has been amazing and I’ve learned so much about myself and our relationship. But I’ve realized recently that I DO NOT CHOOSE YOU.
Chris responds with the same feelings, saying that maybe if they met during a different time things would have worked out but there are just too many conflicts for them. Then, Lyndsey says good luck and walks way, and they DON’T EVEN HUG GOODBYE. I’m confused, is this fifth grade?
After Chris and Lyndsey’s cringe-worthy goodbye, Chris’s second choice Mikaela gets out of the next limo and walks towards him. They give their lovey dovey speeches and Chris proposes to *not* propose, but to just continue dating. And while it was highly disappointing, I am happy to report he does not mess up her name once.
But also, why did you pick out a ring if you knew you weren’t going to propose? So. many. questions!!!!
And then, as if the ending of that episode wasn’t disappointing enough without there being a proposal, we find out during the After the Final Rose special that Chris and Mikaela are already broken up because Chris “wasn’t ready to give his heart to somebody fully.” SO WHY DID YOU GO ON THE BACHELOR? Ugh, this entire season just seems like a waste of time now and I have nothing else to say.
See you back here in the new year for GIF recaps of Arie’s season of The Bachelor and I canNOT freaking wait!
And that’s a wrap for this season of The Bachelor Canada! Be sure to hit up FLARE.com/themorningafter on January 2nd for more GIF recaps of Arie’s sure to be dramz-filled season of The Bachelor—see you then!