Yay for Hometowns!! We start this actually v. entertaining episode of Bachelor Canada in beautiful Toronto—where we get to watch Chris get ready shirtless in the bathroom while he stares longingly at himself in the mirror. Talk about #views. Could still do without the torso tat, tho.
Chris’s first stop is Winnipeg, where Mikaela (who currently resides in the six) is originally from, and he gets to meet not one, not two, but THREE of her parents. Srsly, good luck bro.
They arrive at Mikaela’s parents’ house, where they’re greeted with hugs and some light chit-chat about their journey, but her adorbs little brother wastes zero time in getting right down to business.
Mikaela’s little brother Luke *in a v. serious, father-like tone*: How do you feel about Mikaela, Chris?
Chris *shifting uncomfortably in his seat*: Uhhhhh, I’m not the best with words…
Chris finally manages to string together some sweet words about Mikaela; but when asked to explain how she feels about Chris, Mikaela TOTALLY one-ups him with the most beautiful profession of love. Girls are literally better at everything.
Now that the mushy stuff has been covered, Mikaela’s biological father feels it’s time to ask Chris what he does for work and if he has any money saved. If you’re wondering: “What do you expect? I’m an accountant” was his excuse for asking questions about Chris’s personal savings.
After being bombarded with awkward questions, Chris then has to sit down with Mikaela’s biological dad AND step-dad (who, BTW, isn’t hard on the old eyes) so they can have a more intimate chat. Honestly, bless you Chris, for not bailing right then and there.
Overall, the date went well and, even though he wasn’t invited to stay for dinner (which seemed weird?), Chris got the stamp of approval from Mikaela’s entire fam.
Time for Catie’s Hometown! Which, TBH, we needed a laarrrge glass of chardonnay to get through because it was hella uncomfortable.
To recap: Catie has been getting more intense with every passing day. When Christ confronted Catie last week about her v. high-key nature—and admitted that he needs someone a little more “chill”—she promised him that he would get a glimpse of her more laid-back nature during Hometowns. SPOILER ALERT: He didn’t.
Chris meets Catie at a chic little café in Toronto, where she’s found reading her old, “magic” journal—which, after she tells Chris that her heart is exploding with love for him, she decides to read out loud. She seems super chill rn.
Catie tells Chris that a few years ago she started journaling about who she thought her soulmate would be and all the qualities he needed to have; which, coincidently enough, are all qualities Chris has—tall, blonde, athletic, etc., etc—a.k.a. traits that, like, thousands of other men in Canada also have.
As if Chris isn’t already eye-rolling enough at this, Catie THEN tells him that two years ago she went to a medium who told her that her soulmate’s name was Chris and then showed him the title of one her old journal entries which read “SOULMATE CHRIS.” Honestly, we’re not sure what to do with this information.
This whole thing could have gone one of two ways: Chris could have found it really cute, romantic and endearing. OR he could have found it totally weird and creepy. Unfortch, it was the latter.
Instead of being the laidback girl that she promised, Catie’s intensity seems to be amplified in her hometown, and Chris seems officially over it. UNTIL he meets her family who might just be the sweetest people to ever live in Toronto—especially her dad, who Chris had the loveliest chat with. Honestly, Chris chooses Catie in the end, she owes it to her dad.
Moving on to Lyndsey’s Hometown; which is half the sweetest thing in the world, and half the most awkward/uncomfortable/infuriating thing to ever happen. The date starts off amazing; Lyndsey takes Chris to her grandpa’s land—a magical field full of the yellowest flowers and greenest grass I ever did see. It p. much looks like a scene straight out of Bambi.
She then introduces Chris to her grandpa—who’s just busy workin’ away in his field—and he is LITERALLY THE CUTEST HUMAN ON THIS PLANET. Grandpa D tells Chris all about his land, his love story with Lyndsey’s grandma, and his secret to love—“take life as it is and make the best of it”—and we like, for real, cannot handle how sweet he is.
After having an amazing chat with the most huggable man in the world, Lyndsey takes Chris to a picnic, where they drink champagne and just bask in their love for each other. It was wonderful.
Lyndsey tells him the story of her grandparents; how her grandpa took her grandma out to the field on her very last day (in the very spot they’re sitting), and how much love he had for her—all while b-roll of sweet Grandpa D smiling and frolicking in the field plays on our screens—and we are one hundo p sobbing into our wine glasses. Not even gonna try and pretend we’re not.
Once Lyndsey is finished making us emotional messes, she tells Chris that she’s in love with him. He doesn’t say it back but you can tell he’s over the moon to hear the words coming out of her mouth and then proceeds to say he’s in love with her in his ITM. UGH I LOVE LOVE.
After their magical afternoon, things take a turn for the worst when Chris meets the fam. Lyndsey’s mom, dad and two sisters are *not* feelin’ Chris. AT. ALL. They clearly don’t approve of the age difference and her dad basically shuts down and discredits all those lovey-dovey feelings they were just having for each other. So basically, here’s what we have to say to Lyndsey’s fam:
After realizing that he’s probs not going to win them over today, Chris decides to not ask Lyndsey’s dad for his blessing (which, BTW, is something he only expressed interest in doing on Lyndsey’s date). And thank god he didn’t because her dad made it v. clear that he owns a gun. Also, because he said these words to Chris: “If I have to hunt you down and beat you like a mule it’s a necessity, you know what I mean.” That’s a little much, no?
While Chris and Lyndsey’s dad have the most terrifying/threatening convo, Lyndsey has a chat with her mom, who is equally as skeptical as her dad. And later, Chris sits down with her sisters, who, right outta the gate don’t give him a chance, and also talk about camping and hiking far too much. Let’s recap it, shall we?
**Side note: Because Lyndsey’s sisters were so. damn. rude, I did not bother remembering their names and will be referring to them as the Blonde Sister and Brunette Sister**
Chris to the sisters: I’m in love with Vancouver Island
Brunette Sister: How many times have you thrown that word around in the last few weeks
Blonde Sister in the most judgmental ITM: We grew up hiking and camping like that’s our life. I don’t know what his idea of camping is, but if it’s glamping, he’s in for a treat
Us: OK calm down over there, it’s not that hard to camp, he can manage
Brunette Sister to Chris: Are there more age appropriate girls you could date?
Blonde Sister: It’s hard to see her head over heels for someone who’s got feelings for other girls, he’s got nine years on her, never camped, never hiked. Are you really that suitable?
Us: Are they, like, competitive campers or something? Why do they keep bringing it up?
Then, as if the sisters weren’t already the absolute worst, freaking Brunette asks Chris not to offer Lyndsey the Fantasy Suite card because it’s “disgusting.” I. am. done. Bye.
Chris leaves Lyndsey’s family’s house with MAJOR doubts about their relationship which is totally understandable, and heads back to Toronto for the Rose Ceremony—where, he sends a v. surprised Catie home.
Actual footage of Catie when Chris doesn’t call her name:
As he walks her out, Catie demands answers from Chris, which is fair. But unfortunately, he isn’t man enough to give her those answers and just tells her there was “something missing” but couldn’t figure out what (even though he knew full and well it was her high intensity that didn’t work for him). Disappointing Chris, disappointing.
And that’s a wrap for this week! If you’ll excuse us we need a large glass of wine because that episode was A LOT to process. See you here next week for Fantasy Suites (and to find out if Lyndsey will get one or not!).
Watch The Bachelor Canada Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. EST on W Network. Then, head on over to FLARE.com/themorningafter for Sharleen Joynt’s always on-point recaps and more!