We start this week’s kind of non eventful episode of Bachelor Canada off with some more Jessie vs. Brittany M. dramz—as if we’re not *so over* that storyline already. Everyone in the house can feel the tension between them and all Jessie’s ITMs are about Brittany.
Jessie: Brittany is just fake and I’m 100 percent real
Brittany: If people think I’m being fake that’s their own prerogative. Some girls don’t like me…why is that going to stop me from showing up like a queen?
Moving on to the first Group Date of the week: both Jessie and Brittany are on it and that can’t be good. Chris decides to have a chill pool party with the girls at his place. He takes his shirt off and all the girls are basically drooling over how hot he is but we’re here like, “Ummm…can someone pls cover up that tattoo?”
We are happy when Chris finally puts his shirt back on (honestly *never* thought we’d say that) and then Jessie gets her second kiss—which was way more intimate than the first, but like, she’s still not gonna win tho…
After getting some alone time with the ladies, Chris starts a water gun fight (classic) which means we have to see the tattoo again. Ugh.
Mid-water gun fight, Brittany starts doing the most intense cannonballs to impress Chris. This girl needs to just take a permanent chill pill.
And back at the resort, the girls get the second Group Date card. Dee’s name is on it and she’s pretty pissed that she didn’t get the 1-on-1. Catie’s name however, was *not* on it which means she gets the 1-on-1, yay!
Fast-forward to the evening portion of the first Group Date, Chris says he’s getting so much deeper with Brittany M. but really all they’ve done so far is hardcore mack on each other. We’re confused.
She’s so positive that she’s getting the Date Rose but psych! He gives it to Jessie and hallelujah to that because Brittany does not need any more validation.
Fast-forward to the second Group Date of the week—a rap battle. *Cue us internally cringing* Chris splits the girls up in teams to write their own raps and we literally cannot handle the second-hand embarrassment it gives us.
They’re forced to perform their raps in front of an entire school and the kids are v. not impressed.
Actual footage of the students’ reactions:
Dee and Lyndey’s performance is the most painful to watch, which is unfortch because we were rooting for them the most.
Mikaela and Meghan, on the other hand, totally killed it and we loved seeing Meghan confident for a change. They obv win the competition but then Chris tells them they have to face off with each other in a freestyle rap battle. And fortunately for Mikaela, round two doesn’t go so hot for poor Megs.
Meanwhile, back at camp Jessie has a v. unnecessary chat with Brittany about how fake she is and says that Chris isn’t seeing the real her.
Brittany to Jessie: I’m focused on me and Chris, you worry about you
This feud seems supes forced and we’re over it.
Back to the rap battle, Meghan tries to rhyme Chris’s BLUE eyes with ground beef and not unsurprisingly Mikaela ends up winning the alone time with Chris. They go mini putting and are alllll over each other, but in a cute endearing way, not in a gross Brittany M. way. Oh, and she gets the Group Date Rose, obv.
Time for Catie’s 1-on-1! It’s a yoga date, which is perfect for Catie since she’s a lawyer/meditation coach. But poor Chris is awkward AF on that yoga mat.
During their yoga session, Chris and Catie try eye gazing and you can tell Chris is insanely uncomfortable. Honestly, we were hoping this date would be way hotter than it was.
But moving on to the evening portion of the date, they try eye-gazing again and it goes waaay better. We can legit feel their connection through our TV screens and WE LOVE THEM SO MUCH. #TeamCatie all the freaking way.
She of course gets the Date Rose and literally says “it makes me want to cry because it’s so special” in her ITM while talking about her and Chris. Why is she so cute??!
Time for Cocktail Party! Chris starts the evening off right with a heated kiss with Lyndsey. UGH we love them together, too—who are we supposed to root for? This is too stressful.
And moving on to Lisa—a.k.a. Mermaid/Squirrel Girl—who is taking a page from our handbook and stress drinking because she hasn’t made any progress with Chris. She decides to interrupt Lyndsey and Chris’s 1-on-1 time (rude) to try and make a connection, but really just starts mumbling on about squirrels, as she does. But when it starts raining on them Chris is like “have you ever kissed anyone in the rain before?” and then they kiss. Way to take control, Chris!
Then Dee, who’s been struggling all week and missing her daughter, gets her alone time with Chris and looks for some sort of reassurance from him. But he ends up sending her home so she can be with her daughter. Uhh, we are literally holding back tears RN. Hbu?
You’ll get yours don’t even worry, Dee!
After Dee leaves—*tear*—Chris and the girls head to Rose Ceremony, where Lara—a.k.a. the Canadian version of Danielle Maltby—is sent home. Honestly, she seemed like a super cool girl and we’re sad we didn’t get to see more from her.
And that’s a wrap! We’re*finally* leaving Costa Rica next week and heading to Dominican Republic, see you then!
Watch The Bachelor Canada Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. EST on W Network. Then, head on over to FLARE.com/themorningafter for Sharleen Joynt’s always on-point recaps and more!