Buckle up, ladies. Race-car driver Arie Luyendyk is finally getting his turn behind the wheel—Season 22 of The Bachelor starts January 1—but we’re not convinced you should get your hopes up. In conversation with FLARE, Arie was super tight-lipped about what goes down this season, tossing around a lot of “I don’t knows,” which could mean one of two things: either Arie is so good at protecting Bach secrets he should consider a career at the FBI, or this season is… not so hot? My guess is it’s the latter (#SorryNotSorry).
On one hand, Arie does fall in love, so at least we know we won’t end up with another Juan Pablo sitch. “The journey was a great experience and I did find love,” Arie said. “I actually fell in love with two people, but to see the ending you’ll have to tune in.”
On the other hand, Arie had NOTHING to say when asked what his favourite part of the journey. “It’s really hard to pick out a specific moment without revealing too much,” said Arie. “There’s a lot of drama, but there’s a lot of excitement and […] I had so much fun.” (Zzzzzzzzzz)
When asked what he was looking for this season, Arie says that he wanted “someone who’s first and foremost ready for marriage… someone who had somewhat of a past and who knows what they want in a partner as much as I [do].” Arie also shared that one of his past relationships ended because the other party didn’t want to be a parent. “I really want to have kids,” he said, so obviously this dude is not playing around. Please GOD let this season be one that ends with an actual wedding.
It’s no secret that Arie’s role as the Bachelor came with some controversy. There have been rumours that, since losing Emily’s affection in Season 8, Arie has been a bit of a f-ckboy. “I think everyone has a past, especially someone who’s 36,” Arie said when asked for comment. “After The Bachelorette, it took a lot more time than I realized to heal from that relationship, so I travelled around and dated a lot. That’s what any normal person would do. […] Ex-girlfriends come out of the woodwork and they talk, but everyone has a past.”
In case this convo has dampened your Bachelor spirits, the trailer will probably (?) cheer you up.
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) December 12, 2017
Now let’s discuss. First, I might actually be more interested in Season 22 if it’s just a montage of a suited-up Arie walking through the dessert, sharing his deepest thoughts. Also, WE GET IT, Arie is 36. You don’t have to keep mentioning that he’s mature and that he knows what he wants. Those would be my baseline expectations if I was dating someone his age. Raise. Your. Bars.
Speaking of raising the bar, I’m 110 percent sure that making out on a moving Sea-Doo is both extremely dangerous and illegal. The only remotely intriguing aspect of the entire three minutes comes when Chelsea promptly self-identifies as “not a bitch… [but] a mother.” The girl with the top knot also looks fun because she swears a lot.
At the end of the trailer, Arie expresses doubt about whether the girl he picks will want to be with him, and—PLOT TWIST—some mystery man shows up, deeply upsetting our leading dude. Could it be Season 8 winner and Arie’s forever partner in feuding Jef Holm?! WE FREAKIN’ HOPE SO. Arie told FLARE that he and Jef haven’t spoken since four years ago at Sean Lowe’s wedding, but here’s hoping that’s a decoy. *sips tea*
All in all, we learned more from the heavily-edited teaser than we did in conversation with Arie. I will let you form your own opinion about the upcoming season based on that information.