Season 23 of The Bachelor is right around the corner, and that means Colton Underwood is about to grace our TV screens *yet again*. And, according to the trailer that just landed, it looks like the theme of this season is—unsurprisingly—his V-card.
In case you weren’t counting, there are five mentions of his sexless existence in the first 40 seconds of the vid, including one woman professing that she hasn’t dated a virgin since she was 12, and Underwood being forced to say “sexual intimacy” to Chris Harrison’s face.
Aside from all that virginity talk, we also get some not-so-subtle reminders that Underwood is super jacked (“He is literally a chiseled god,” says one of the women). Watch water ripple down his abs from an unseen shower head. Witness him flip a big-ass tractor tire and run on the spot. See him pick up several of the women, fireman style (see above). If you come to The Bachelor franchise for eye candy, prepare to fall into a damn coma.
Then, after all that sexy stuff, we’re given a sneak peek at The Drama. As per usual, tears, fireworks and f-bombs abound. But then we legit get something we’ve never seen before, when Underwood says “I’m done” and jumps a freaking fence (!!!! ) The women lose their minds—fair—and even Chris Harrison looks confused. But, as with most of these Dramatic Moments, it might not be what we think.
As for what’s exactly as it seems? Once again, there are many, many blonde women and not enough WOC. As well, it looks like ABC only sprung for one tropical destination (c’mon, this isn’t The Bachelorette). And, we’re already more than a little sick of hearing about Underwood’s virginity. That said, we know we’ll be glued to our TVs come January 7.