Season 23 of The Bachelor is finally underway, and *oh boy* do we have some contenders. Thirty women walked into the Bachelor Mansion, ready to convince former NFL player Colton Underwood to give them his final rose—but each week, several will walk out the door. Here’s who’s left, and who has already embarked on their next “journey” (which likely involves hawking SugarBearHair and detox tea on the ’gram).
Oh, and BTW, bio lines include our ~fictional~ thoughts on each contestant.
1 of 30
Alex D, 23, Sloth (said her goodbyes on episode 1)
As a sloth—WTF—Alex will be too slow to steal Colton “for a sec.”