Summer might technically be almost over, but for us it’s only just started! Our fave summer show—Bachelor in Paradise (duh)—started last week with a record two-night, four-hour premiere and even though it was like, a lot to take in for one week, we’re pretty freaking excited for the rest of the season. Not there yet? To bring you up to our excitement level, we’ve rounded up the most memorable moments of Bachelor in Paradise’s sweaty past, Here’s hoping this season is juicy enough to add some more moments to the list!
Clare Crawley’s furry friend, season 1
It happened last season when a sobbing Ashley I. talked to a bird, but Clare Crawley was the OG Paradise animal whisperer. Honestly whoever did this edit deserves an Academy Award because even though we obvs knew it Clare was ranting to a producer about the Ashlee Frazier-Graham dramz, making it look like she was talking to a raccoon was pure gold.
When Lacy Faddoul and Marcus Grodd did *not* tie the knot, season 2
The wedding of season 1 success story Lacy and Marcus might not have been that memorable in the moment; it was kind of boring and also supes weird that the only guests were the season 2 BiP cast. But shizz really hit the fan when people found out the wedding wasn’t legit but instead a ratings ploy. Which is probs for the best since they didn’t stay together anyway.
When Ashley I. got to bring her sister to Paradise, season 2
This one was *so* random and SO not fair. Ashley I.—the girl who needs no introduction since she’s already famously known as both “the virgin” and the girl who’s cried more than every Bachelor Nation contestant combined—somehow managed to get the producers to let her sister Lauren (who had never been on The Bachelor) come along to Paradise. Our guess? It must’ve been pretty shitty for everyone else who actually had to actually endure the pain of being a Bachelor/ette contestant to get to Paradise, but whatever we love Ashley I. regardless and Lauren was pretty damn entertaining to watch. Like when she legit started crying out of nowhere on the first day.
When Joe and Samantha were the actual worst, season 2
Joe was one of those Bachelor Nation peeps who we hardly even recognized from his season of The Bachelorette (Kaitlyn’s, apparently) and then turned into a total asshole during his stint on Bachelor in Paradise. This is a confusing one so we’ll give you the Coles Notes version:
Joe came on the show in hopes of dating Samantha Steffen (another insignificant Bachelor alum from Chris Soules’s season) who he had been texting pre-Paradise, and totally used sweet single mom Juelia (also from Chris’s season) to help him stick around until Samantha got there. Ugh, total dick move. But what goes around comes around, because it turns out Samantha was just using Joe to stick around until Nick Peterson (from Ashley Herbert’s season) showed up.
Anyway, Samantha ended up dumping Joe and left Paradise with Nick. And during After Paradise Chris Harrison came clutch, as he does, with a book of over 400 text messages between Sam and Joe, the existence of which Samantha had denied profusely up to this point. Sam and Nick ended up splitting in 2015, so in the end everyone got what they deserved.
Kirk and Carly’s breakup, season 2
This was hands down the most painful breakup in Paradise history. Carly was picturing a future with Kirk—marriage, kids, the whole shebang—and Kirk just wasn’t feeling it so he decided to completely blindside her and break up with her during part one of the season finale. Ugh, why do guys SUCK? But whatever, Carly’s happily married to Evan now and Kirk will forever go down as one of the most hated guys in BiP history. So really, it’s a win-win.
The love that was Jade and Tanner, season 2
This one doesn’t even need an explanation. Their love was probs the best thing Bachelor in Paradise has ever done and while Carly and Evan are a close second (like real close), Jade and Tanner will forever be our fave Paradise couple. Also congrats to the new parents who just had their little babe last week!
When Chad and Chris Harrison went head-to-head, season 3
They called it Hurricane Chad, because when the meat-eating villain from JoJo’s season landed in Paradise he destroyed everything in his path. After being the king of all assholes—to recap, he called the v. kind and lovely Sarah Herron a “one-armed bitch” and got mad at Daniel the Canadian for not being “murder-y” enough—Chris Harrison had to step in and kick the Chad Bear out of Paradise. It. Was. Epic. “You went to sleep last night with a mimosa and a robe on,” was the best line to come out of this head-to-head battle. While Chad threw insult after insult at Chris, he just stood there shaking his head like a disappointed dad. Have we ever mentioned how much we love Chris Harrison?
Everything that was Josh Murray, season 3
The Bryan-level sloppy kisses, the excessive sweating and the obsession with greasy pizza—Josh is a memorable moment all on his own, and not a good one. He secured his douchebag title the second he showed up to Paradise, basically claiming territory on Amanda and then proceeding to treat Paradise like his very own kingdom. Ugh. It’s safe to say we were never #TeamJosh and we’ll never forget it.
Izzy loves Lamp Guy, season 3
Vizzy (Izzy and Vinny) were one of the strongest couples in Paradise last season, until Brett walked in with a lamp and for some reason Izzy thought it was the hottest thing ever. She ended up breaking up with Vinny to explore things with Lamp Guy, who ironically enough screwed her over to go on a date with Lauren H. from Ben’s season. After realizing Vinny was the best damn thing that ever happened to her, Izzy called him up to ask for forgiveness but he straight-up turned her down which, like, she totally deserved.
When Evan faked a medical emergency, season 3
After Carly literally threw up after kissing Evan on their weird habanero pepper date, Evan realized he had to make a pretty major gesture to get the girl of his dreams. So, naturally he faked an illness and was rushed to the hospital (Carly came with him). The ridiculous stunt worked because afterward, he and Carly were obsessed with each other. And now they’re married and pregnant with a baby girl. Not to mention they just seem like the most in love ever.
Watch Bachelor in Paradise Mondays AND Tuesdays at 8:00 p.m. EST on City. Then, head on over to FLARE.com/themorningafter every Tuesday and Wednesday for recaps from Sharleen Joynt, GIF recaps and more!