Dear Becca: Garrett Has Shown You Who He Is. Please Believe Him

It will save you a world of pain (and boredom)

Becca and Garrett on a yacht

(Photograph: Getty)

Dear Becca,

Last night, you ended your Journey to Love in the Maldives, and, well, your choice of a forever person has forced us to bring out the big guns. That’s right: we’re quoting Oprah.

On page one, paragraph one of The Gospel According To Our Lady Winfrey, she says: “When somebody shows you who they are, believe them…the first time.” It’s an important lesson that was actually taught to her by our ultimate patron saint, Maya Angelou, and it’s one we’d really, really, really like to remind you of RN.

Garrett has shown you who he is, and we feel like it would save you a world of pain (and a lifetime of super boring conversations) if you’d believe him before you go and invest in a joint Costco membership.

We’re referring in part, of course, to his Instagram “scandal,” wherein it came to light that your medical sales rep fiancé had liked more-than-a-few posts from alt right accounts. Among the things he deemed worthy of a double tap were memes mocking Parkland shooting survivors, trans people and undocumented immigrants. When this all came out, just as your season started airing, he issued an apology that left much to be desired, in that it didn’t so much condemn the hate he was helping condone with his Insta behaviour as it said sorry for offending anyone. Someone saying they didn’t mean “any harm” sounds a bit like when the class bully gets caught by the teacher and says his cruel words were “just a joke.”

You’ve stood by him through all of this, despite a social media history of your own that is heavy on support for Hillary Clinton and the Women’s March. As you said in a statement you made at the time, you “do believe in certain things, but again, that’s what’s so great about our country is that everyone is entitled to their own opinions.” And sure, freedom of expression is a thing, but this is the man you say you’re going to marry and have children with. The posts Garrett liked weren’t just unfunny, they were hateful. This isn’t like finding out he supports a rival football team. Yes, we all learn and grow, but that’s not really what’s happening here with Garrett, is it?

On last night’s After The Final Rose, the controversy was *finally* addressed, and while the on-air acknowledgment that this behaviour was problematic is a step in the right direction, what Garrett actually said was kind of…weird. “I’m just trying to grow as a person and be a better person on a daily basis,” he said sitting on the couch next to you. “[Becca’s] helping me through everything. We’ve been honest and open and transparent with one another since the beginning and when that all came out we attacked it because I feel like when I was liking things, it was going against things she stands for and that made it really hard on us as a couple. So when we started talking about that, we got through that together and we’re growing, we’re progressing and we’re moving forward.”

Did it not strike you as odd that he referred to those racist, transphobic, xenophobic posts as against something *YOU* stood for? Surely—after all this progressing and growing he’s allegedly done—they’re all things that *he* doesn’t stand for either? Or maybe he still thinks liking those posts really isn’t such a big deal and he’s waiting for everyone to get over it. But hey ho, moving forward and all that, right?

And TBH, it’s not just his problematic political views that we’re calling as red flags. There’s the matter of his first marriage, and the way that he, as he told your own Uncle Chuck on last night’s finale, just “realized it wouldn’t work” and pretty much blamed the split on his ex-wife and her family, to which we say, there are two people in every marriage, dude. Speaking of family input: Your sister warned you that Garrett wouldn’t “challenge” you; could it be that he is just not that bright? Also, and perhaps most troubling of all: he is not supportive of your plan to have (minimum) four Corgis. We have to question the fundamental humanity of someone who would deny themselves, or someone they love, that kind of joy.

Harpo-fully yours,

xo FLARE

  • Click here for more from our all-Bachelor Nation, all-the-time hub, The Morning After
Filed under:

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

FLARE - Newsletter Signup

Get FLARE’s Need to Know newsletter for your daily dose of up-to-the-minute fashion, beauty, celebrity and news stories hand-picked by our editors—straight to your inbox. Sign up here.