SPOILER: Is The Bachelorette Trolling Us?

This post contains SO. MANY. SPOILERS (don’t say we didn’t warn you)

The Bachelorette

Credit: CITY

Warning: This post contains frank discussion of who word-on-the-street says is the winner of Becca Kuprin’s series of The Bachelorette. It’s essentially one giant spoiler.

Or is it?

As many a member of Bachelor Nation knows, Reality Steve typically spoils most seasons of The Bachelor/ette by revealing the winner/Final Rose-getter/future #sponcon hawker well before the actual final Final Rose is given out on television. Now, he’s not infallible—and has actually gotten a few things wrong over the years—but generally, if you find your Bach viewing experiences *enhanced* by some spoiler knowledge, he’s the go-to guy. This year, however, something different happened: It was TMZ who spoiled the finale—before the show even began airing. On May 24, it posted grainy shots of Becca on a beach, making out with someone who is 99% likely to be Garrett after what appeared to be a proposal. The post also quote a source at a resort in the Maldives who says the crew surrounding them cheered and went in for hugs all round after said proposal happened. Case closed, right? Becca picks Garrett, and they all live happily ever after (or until she catches wind of his Instagram scandal).

But what if that’s not the story at all this season? What if—cue intense X Files music—this is all part of a much, much larger fakeout by ABC? Maybe Garrett’s not the winner at all. We’re used to being misled by editing within the context of the show, sure, but what about being misled by a long game that acknowledges the entire ecosystem the series now operates within? The network must be verrrrry tired of having its endings scooped almost.every.single.time so what if it has decided instead to do a little proactive “spoiling” of its own in order to pull off an ending that is genuinely a surprise to all of Bachelor Nation??? It would certainly be THE MOST DRAMATIC EVER.

Join us, won’t you, for a little journey to Conspiracy City…

Shortly into Becca’s season—but after it was revealed by TMZ that he was the winner—news broke that IRL Garrett had liked a series of posts on Instagram that were racist, xenophobic and flat-out offensive. He apologized, of course, but knowing what we knew made it hard to really get behind his budding romance with Becca. Still, if ABC genuinely didn’t know (they maintain that it slipped through their third-party administered background checks), they were in a bit of a bind: Essentially, they were stuck with a ‘hero’ who the audience would find (hopefully) problematic. But what if that was the plan all along? Certainly the editing of subsequent episodes—particularly last night’s Hometown date—don’t do Garrett any favours. This tweet does a nice job of encapsulating what many fans perceive to be the moral discrepancies between Garrett and the other two contestants:

In light of all that, doesn’t it make precious Blake all the more…precious? (Yes, Jason is there too, but guys, no one needs spoilers to know this just isn’t going to happen for them.) If—and this is a big IF, based on nothing other than the fevered commercial-break imaginings of people forced to actually watch television LIVE—our theory is true, and ABC really did plant a fake spoiler with TMZ, how epic of a mind twist would that be? Like, the audience really, really wants it to be Blake, especially since he’s just basically Not Garrett, but we feel all torn up and sad inside because it just can’t be him…and then it is! What a journey *that* would be.

One more thing that makes us think mayyybbe we’re onto to something here: the fact that the original spoiler comes from TMZ—who don’t generally traffic in things of a Bach nature—and not Reality Steve is something. (Although to be fair, TMZ did also break the Lincoln scandal this season.)

Soo…what do we think? Have we been in the (literal) Fantasy Suite of ridiculous theories too long? Or is our hunch here for the right reasons…and those alleged “spoilers” were not?

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