We start episode one off with a nice little intro of Canada’s most eligible Bachelor, Chris Leroux, in front of Toronto’s skyline #views. Chris, who’s looking fit AF, talks about how lonely he was as a Major League Baseball player and how he retired to live a normal life.
Chris: Basically I just want to be normal.
Also Chris: I think I’m going to be the next Canadian Bachelor.
After we get to know Chris on a more personal level (we’re kinda digging him so far, TBH), in walks freaking Shawn B and Kaitlyn!! YAAASSSS. Episode made.
Our literal fave couple in allllll of Bachelor Nation history gives Chris their best advice, and Shawn is just like, “kiss every single one of them, man.” KISS US, SHAWN.
Ugh can Shawn and Kaitlyn just be in the entire episode? K thnx.
O.K., time for Night One! Chris rolls into the Bachelor Canada Mansion where Noah Cappe—a.k.a. the Canadian Chris Harrison—is waiting for him. And Chris is just casually like, “BTW it’s my birthday.”
Chris: Yeah, today’s my birthday.
Noah: WHAT! I had nooooo idea.
Us: Yeah, O.K.
The birthday boy takes his place on the shiny mansion driveway and awaits his 20 future girlfriends. Sounds like a pretty dece birthday to us.
The entrances are pretty mundane, TBH, until the mermaid/squirrel lover (Lisa) awkwardly walks up. She’s dressed in a FULL-ON mermaid costume, complete with a seashell bra and starfish hair piece. It’s no Dolphin Girl, but we’ll take it!
Chris walks in after the entrances are over and steals Mikaela away first—the girl who he promised he would have the first conversation with. At least he’s a man of his word.
Meanwhile, Shanti—the real estate student and former model/actress—is being the most. annoying. ever. We’re calling it now: she’s this season’s Olivia. She thinks she’s better than everyone else, and for some reason, everyone keeps complimenting her veneers? *SERIOUS eye roll*
Shanti: Finding out Chris is a former professional athlete… it’s so strange because I’m a former model so maybe we can relate.
Later, Catie—the lawyer/meditation coach—steals Chris away for a pretty cute chat. They seem to have some chemistry, and she’s kind of giving us JoJo vibes. We like her.
Chris tells Catie that it’s his birthday, and then without a word of warning, friggin’ Pricilla—the performer from Vancouver—jumps out of the tackiest cake we’ve ever seen and sings Happy Birthday to the
bachelor birthday boy. Unfortunately for her, it goes terribly, and unfortunately for us, we have second-hand embarrassment. K, wait is Pricilla this season’s Olivia?
Actual footage of us watching Pricilla jump out of a cake and singing HBD to Chris:
Pricilla, you just bought yourself a one-way ticket back to Vancouver. Sawwwwwry.
Once the cringe-worthy awkwardness comes to an end (bless), Chris sits down with Dee—the spray tan business owner from Kitchener—and they actually have a really good convo. Chris seems super into her, but she leaves out one important piece of information during their chat: she’s a mom.
And now we’re back to Shanti. She’s gone from being the most confident girl in the house to the most insecure/annoying in like five mins. While whining about not getting any 1-on-1 time with Chris, some other girl straight up tells her to “just go talk to him.” Instead of taking the sound advice, she’s like, “I don’t want to be that girl!”
Then, mid-freakout, Noah casually drops off the First Impression Rose and Shanti loses her shizz.
Shanti: I want Chris to come to me; I don’t appreciate the fact that I’m sitting and waiting. I just don’t see the point in this.
Noah: *Drops off First Impression Rose*
Shanti: I WANT TO GO HOME.
After Noah drops off the rose, Shanti runs into the bathroom to freak out at a producer and yell, “THIS IS NOT O.K.,” over and over and over. What’s this girl’s deal? It’s literally Night One.
She tells the producer that she’s not the type of girl to get pissed about a guy not talking to her, but like, Shanti, let’s be real—you are literally being that girl RN. Then Chris gets word of what’s going down and goes into the bathroom to comfort crying Shanti. He asks her to stay (we’re not too sure why because this girl is clearly just here for the dramz), and she leaves the bathroom all smiles. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Moving on to Brittany M., the former pageant queen. She’s the one who makes sure she gets multiple 1-on-1 chats with the lead and pisses everyone else off. Every season needs one—maybe she’s the new Olivia?
After Brittany M. steals Chris away from a girl he was actually interested in for a second time, he grabs the First Impression Rose and gives it to Dee. Awkward! She still hasn’t told him she has a kid.
Side note: Is it just us or is Shanti always playing with her veneers?
Anyway, now that the First Impression Rose has been given out, it’s time for a Rose Ceremony! A few girls that we can’t remember get sent home—including Pricilla, the one who jumped out of a cake. Poor girl.
After Chris sends a handful of girls packin’, he announces to the remaining women that they’ll be heading to Costa Rica. Sorry what?! They’re already going to a tropical destination? K, bye Toronto. See you all next week in Costa Rica!
Watch The Bachelor Canada Wednesdays at 9:00 p.m. EST on W Network. Then, head on over to FLARE.com/themorningafter for Sharleen Joynt’s always on-point recaps and more!