Bachelor Nation

Dear Arie, What You Did to Becca Was Absolute Trash

Breakups happen. We get it. But there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON Arie needed to break up with Becca on camera

A photo of the Bachelor Arie on a pink background

(Photo: ABC)

Dear Arie,

When you first began your journey on The Bachelor, I tried to have an open mind. You were up against an entire Bachelor Nation of Peter Kraus fans—even contestants like Krystal and Bekah M admitted they signed up for the reality show hoping that our gap-toothed love would be handing out the roses. But over the course of season 22, we watched as you won over these ladies and narrowed it down to the bubbly, 27-year-old publicist Becca Kufrin and Lauren Burnham, a somewhat reserved 26-year-old sales executive. Last night was meant to be the romantic pinnacle of this (highly-produced) fairytale—but instead of coming off like Prince Charming, you were the villain.

There had been rumours for weeks that we weren’t exactly headed for a fairytale ending. More specifically, that you were going to propose to Becca, only to break things off to be with the show’s runner-up, Lauren B. But it’s one thing to hear what happened, it’s entirely another to actually see it go down.

Since we were forced to watch this unedited hideousness play out for an extra hour past my bedtime, let me point out some of the ways you completely disrespected Becca in the process.

1. If you’re legit in love with two people, maybe don’t propose?

I get it, the Bachelor process is basically designed to make you fall in love with multiple people, and that *truly* did seem to be the case for you at the end of the finale. You had already said “I love you” to both Becca and Lauren B before the finale, and even as each walked towards you before the proposal (or breakup) scene, you still seemed conflicted over your final decision. In your confusion over who to pick, you also seemed to forget that no one was forcing you to get engaged at all. Sure, it’s not quite the Bachelor storyline we’ve come to know and love, but it would’ve been better than what you did.

Let’s also remember that you’ve been in their shoes. In Emily Maynard’s season, you WERE her runner-up, so how the actual eff did you have the nerve to get down on one knee when you knew that you weren’t sure—and praise be to Becca, because she made that point clear during your hideous breakup.

The way you went back and forth, toying with the lives and futures of these two women basically made it feel like you flipped a coin rather than actually considering what this proposal could mean for anyone other than yourself.

2. You freaking televised your breakup!

Listen, I’m not mad that your engagement with Becca didn’t stick. Did I like her more than Lauren B? Yes. But hey, it’s not my life. The odds weren’t in favour of you two actually making it, anyway. (Just look at the rest of Bachelor Nation’s history.) But while Bachelor breakups happen, there was absolutely NO REASON that you needed to end things with Becca on camera. Obvs you shouldn’t have stayed with Becca when you were clearly hung up on Lauren B, but you could have revealed your breakup on After the Final Rose like a normal Bachelor/decent human. Even former Bachelor contestant Olivia Caridi agrees that there was no reason to do that.

And for those who wonder if maybe the Bachelor producers made Arie breakup with Becca on camera—I give you this:

Even Molly Mesnick—who was basically season 13’s ‘Lauren B’—didn’t agree with how Arie handled things with Becca. (For those who don’t know, season 13 Bachelor Jason Mesnick was the first to propose to one woman, then break it off to be with the runner-up, Molly)

3. You really didn’t seem to care what this would mean for Becca

I mean, it was clear from the fact that you brought cameras to your breakup party that you weren’t exactly looking out for Becca—but many of the things you said to her just felt like salt in this Bachelor Nation-sized wound.

“Sometimes when I’m on these little getaways with Becca I think about, What would this be like with Lauren?” you said in the finale. “It just kills me, because I have a great woman next to me. I go to bed and I think about Lauren. I wake up and I think about Lauren. And I know Becca sees when I struggle. She sees the fact that my mind is somewhere else. She knows that I think about Lauren.”

Cool, just FYI, this is not just your “struggle”—watching you think about another woman must’ve freaking sucked for Becca, and yet you really don’t seem to care about that in the same way that you didn’t seem to care that you told Bach producers that you were going to end things before you told Becca. You further proved that you didn’t really care about Becca when you referred to your time post-engagement as simply “hanging out,” as if she was some chick you were casually seeing from Tinder and not your legit fiancé.

In fact, according to HuffPost writer and Bachelor superfan Emma Gray, you took a full 49 minutes to actually say “sorry” to Becca during your breakup. Not OK.

4. You refused to give her space after you broke her heart

I think you may have trouble with ending things. For instance, the finale should’ve ended after the engagement, but for some reason, you kept those cameras rolling to publicize your breakup with Becca. Then, when you told Becca that you’ve been literally thinking about Lauren for the duration of your engagement, you refused to call it a day. Instead, you freaking lingered, ignoring Becca’s sole request after you broke her heart. I can safely say that I yelled “GTFO” more at you than I did while watching Get Out. 

Literally following Becca around the house, asking if she’s alright when she clearly wasn’t and staring at her while she sobbed, is l-o-w. What were you expecting her to say? “Oh, no problem, thanks for letting me know. It’s all good”? You being there just meant that she had to stay somewhat composed for the cameras. You broke up with her. It’s not her job to make you feel OK about that. The very least you could’ve done was leave her to process things in peace.

In the intro to the finale, Chris Harrison says, “In fairness, every one of [Arie’s] scandalous actions was done in the name of finding true love [and] following his heart.” However, even if you and Lauren B are truly happy and in love, there was absolutely no need to treat Becca the way you did. She deserved so much better.

The tag line for this season was “worth the wait,” but this finale was not. Watch your back Arie, because Uncle Gary is gonna come for you.

(Credit: Giphy)

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