Anyone who’s been watching this season of The Bachelorette will probably agree when we say, Rachel is one of the best and most real (keep it 100, amiright?) Bachelorettes we’ve ever had. She’s a delightful and intelligent lead who knows what she’s doing and more importantly, she knows how to date—which sounds like a given but it’s not always the case with our leading ladies. Watching Rachel sift through 31 guys over the past few weeks has been more than just entertaining, it’s also been—believe it or not—educational. Rachel has given us something this season that no other Bachelor/ette has: the best damn dating advice, ever.
So here, a roundup of everything we’ve learned from watching Rachel do her thang on The Bachelorette.
How to be confrontational WITHOUT being emotional
When it comes to confrontation, Rachel is the #goals we never knew we needed. (Clearly these same skills make her an ace lawyer, too.) Unlike the majority of people out there—including myself—who trip over their words and babble on like a fool when faced with conflict, or even worse, just straight-up start crying (also guilty of this), Rachel manages to take control of the conversation with minimal word vomit. HOW DOES SHE DO IT? She hardly ever cries—in fact we can count the number of times Rachel has cried all season on two hands, which is not always the case for a lead—she doesn’t get heated, pissed off or start arguments, she just says what she needs to say and leaves her emotions out of it.
It’s OK to be selfish
In Episode 7 and 8, Rachel repeatedly admits that she “needs to be a little more selfish” in this process—even though she’s not used to it—and honestly it’s one of the realest things ever said on the show. When you’re trying to find The One, you have to be thinking about yourself in order to find the best fit. And Rachel has reminded us of that.
How to end a relationship—the mature way
Of course we’re referring to her breakup with Kenny. I mean, has there ever been a more mature moment on the show?? Rachel knew Kenny was so not OK being away from his daughter so she sent him home in a way that was so insightful and understanding that even he said it made him fall in love with her right then and there. If you make a guy fall in love with you WHILE breaking up with him, you know you’re doing something right.
Sometimes you just gotta let love lead the way
Rachel has said multiple times this season that she’s “letting love lead the way” and TBH that’s probs what all us single gals should be doing. Remember when Rachel invited Peter to an intimate three-and-a-half-hour hot tub hookup sesh? This probably wasn’t the best idea—considering they were on a group date and well, that just looks kinda sketch—but Rachel didn’t care about the consequences or what the other guys might think and just let love lead the way. As a result, she got three extra hours with someone she might possibly be accepting a proposal from—seems like a win to me. The lesson learned: Sometimes you have to follow your heart to get the gold (or in Rachel’s case, the Neil Lane sparkler).
How to be sassy AND classy
This is a tough combo to master, but Rachel has been schooling us this season. Case in point:
1/ When she’s *so* not impressed
Sassy: Her not-so-discreet facial expressions. If Rachel is disappointed or not into someone/something you can tell instantly just from looking at her. Like remember her “this date is the actual worst” facial expressions during Will’s 1-on-1?
Classy: The fact that she doesn’t try to hide how she’s feeling, or as she calls it “keeping it 100,” which is just pure class.
2/ Her goodbye to DeMario
Sassy: When she straight-up told him to GTFO.
Classy: When she gave him this more formal goodbye: “You handled the situation like a boy and I’m looking for a man. So I’m glad you’ve realized you should move forward but I need you to realize that forward isn’t toward the Mansion, forward is outside of it. Thank you.”
How to turn down a kiss when you *reeeally* don’t want it
Rachel proved to us all this season that the old “I’m contagious, I don’t want to get you sick” bit actually *does* work IRL when Jack “I want to lock you in a room” Stone tried to plant a kiss on her. So sly, Rach, so sly.
How to pass the time when talking to a guy you *don’t* like
Ever notice whenever there was drama happening in the house, Rachel would only talk about it to the guys she wasn’t that into (like Blake E. and Whaboom, or Iggy and Lee) and save the good convos for the guys she was into (like Peter, Bryan, Eric and Dean)? The takeaway here: don’t waste all your good talking points on a guy you’re not even into. Talk to them about something that doesn’t really matter (like house drama) and save the meaningful stuff for the guys you actually like.