I can’t tell when I watch this show whether I’m entertained, bored witless or in some no man’s land of sheer apathy. We learned this week the real reason Michelle K. up and left. Honestly, I heard this story through the Bachelor grapevine soon after it happened and all I could think was, “Damn. You can’t make this stuff up.”
In week two, Lacy went with 80 instead of 40, Dylan felt smothered, Ben’s privacy was invaded, and Marquel drunk-shamed Michelle while sipping wine. But this week’s stand-outs are…
Bottom-Feeder Award of the Week There’s fresh male meat on the island! It’s—shockingly—that Bachelor-franchise gnat Chris B., who unrelentingly insists he belongs on television. He plainly seeks out the lowest common denominator amongst the women. Anything to stay in front of the cameras for one more week.
Most In Need of a Copy of He’s Just Not That Into You Elise, who interprets very clear signals as mixed ones. Dylan says, “I don’t see this going anywhere” and Elise hears, “I care about you but am afraid of our connection.” Facepalm.
MVP of the Week Sarah, who selflessly kept Robert over Dylan in order to appease BFF Elise.