Overnight dates are tonight—and if you’re a Bachelor Nation fan, you know the drill: before the finale of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette (the one where a proposal *usually* happens), the final three contestants are given a chance to hit up the Fantasy Suite with their potential partner—without the cameras. Va va voom.
While sex is rarely discussed when the coveted overnight date card is handed out (uninterrupted “one-on-one” time is usually the preface), it’s safe to assume that many use their alone time in the Fantasy Suite to get. it. on. “Most of the time there’s intimacy involved,” wrote former bachelorette Andi Dorfman (Season 10), in a guest column for The Hollywood Reporter. But since a camera crew isn’t there to show us exactly what goes on behind closed doors, we did a deep dive ourselves.
Here, everything we know about sex and the Fantasy Suite on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.
Producers may not say it, but yes, sex happens on overnights
Will Arie rev his engine tonight? According to Dorfman, likely yes. “Almost every bachelor has sex with everyone he goes into the fantasy suites with,” she wrote in her Hollywood Reporter essay. “Obviously there are some exceptions, but regardless, you never hear anything of it.” Even former bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky (Season 6) confirmed to Hollywood Today Live that sex is the objective of the evening. “If you’re not having sex, you’re probably not getting chosen, unless you’re waiting for religious reasons or personal reasons,” she said.
Protection is *apparently* not always a guarantee
Courtney Robertson, winner of Ben Flajnik’s 2012 season of The Bachelor, told Radar Online that producers don’t supply condoms in the Fantasy Suite—something she didn’t know until she got there. “I’m surprised there hasn’t been a Bachelor baby!” she told the outlet. “Everyone gets tested [for STIs] before the show and I was on the pill,” she added. “Maybe we were a little bit too in the moment. If I had known I was the last one [to get a Fantasy Suite date], I would have definitely thought about it more.” But according to former bachelor Chris Soules (Season 19), there is protection in the hotel rooms. “[The condoms] are in the room already,” he told ET.
While sex does happen, overnights are about more than boning
OK, so we know contestants are likely a lil frisky by the time they make it to the end of the season, but overnights are not only about sex and fireworks (although, there’s a high probability producers have arranged fireworks). In her essay for The Hollywood Reporter, Dorfman explained why the alone time during overnights is super important for budding relationships. “It’s not just physical, it’s emotional as well,” she wrote. “The experience is a kind of unveiling of the fantasy, in an ironic way… Cut the cameras, cut the microphone: it’s just you two and you get to see the true side of this person behind closed doors.”
But sometimes what you see behind closed doors ain’t pretty, as Dorfman discovered when she was stuck in a room with Season 18 bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis. During their alone time, Dorfman realized she did not like Galavis at all (apparently he was “an asshole”) and left the show with some pretty strong parting words. After seeing how badly he treated the other women on the show, it’s safe to say he totally deserved it.
Some contestants choose to not spend the night together
Former bachelor Sean Lowe (Season 17), a born-again virgin, made it clear that he did not feel ready to sleep any of his final contestants. “The bottom line was that I wasn’t going to have sex with any of the remaining three women that week,” he wrote in his book, For the Right Reasons. “I wanted to use that night, alone, without any distractions, to really connect with the women.” Apart from Sean, bachelorette Emily Maynard (Season 8) did not have sex in the Fantasy Suite with winner Jef Holm, and bachelorette Fedotowsky revealed she only was intimate with the one man.
Outside the Fantasy Suite, sex is uncommon—but it happens
After Robertson and Flajnik split, the former contestant wrote a tell-all book about her reality TV experience. In I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends, Robertson not only confirmed she and Flajnik banged in the Fantasy Suite (“We immediately ripped each other’s clothes off and had intense, passionate sex in front of the fire”), she also revealed that they did in fact get it on in the ocean earlier in the season—something viewers of the show speculated.
Clare Crawley and Juan Pablo Galavis also hooked up in the ocean during his Bachelor tenure. While producers never explicitly confirmed the pair had sex on TV, the day after their 4 a.m. swim, Crawley made a toast saying: “To finding love, being loved, and making love.” Naturally, this prompted asshat Juan Pablo to slut-shame Crawley, telling her to keep quiet about their rendezvous and reminding her that he has a young daughter at home.
But Crawley wasn’t the only woman slut-shamed for hooking up outside of the Fantasy Suite. Canadian Kaitlyn Bristowe, who had sex with Nick Viall before overnights on her season of The Bachelorette, faced harsh reactions for her decision. In an interview with People, Bristowe said the sexist public reaction to her personal decision was simply because she was a woman. “I think it’s a double standard, for sure,” she said. “I don’t feel ashamed about the act of sex in the relationship.” You go, girl.